No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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