I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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