when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
