Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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