You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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