he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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