just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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