I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
