You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
