How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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