He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
