he puts the penis in happiness.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
