the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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