I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
