dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
