after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize