The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
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I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
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I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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