Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
