My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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