kristin has been a bad kristin
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
