New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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