I think my vagina is haunted
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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