It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
