im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
