Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize