I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
