i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
