I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
