Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
