In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize