Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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