I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
