Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
