home. puking in laundry basket.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
