can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
