is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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