i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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