new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
