This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
