i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
