I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
