just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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