he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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