My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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