...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
