So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
