His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
