so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
