I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
