i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize