The brown eye won't let me do that either.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
