Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
