It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
