yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
