i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
