I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
