is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
