I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
