We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I need a burrito and a hug.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize