were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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