i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
