Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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