I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
