You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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