It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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