i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
