At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize