I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
